Steven Universe Fanon Wikia
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Garnet, that mouth!
"Garnet, That mouth!"
‎This article may contain language or vocabulary which may not be suitable for younger readers. If you're fine with that kind of stuff, read ahead.

By Trogdr the dragon man

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As Jade walks out the door smoking a cigarette she thinks:

“I’m doing wrong things, but I’m doing them for the good reasons.”’ she repeats it over and over, trying to convince herself it was true.

She threw the cigarette away and remembered the past.


Blooooopppppppppppppppppppppppoppppopopopopopopopopopopopopblooopydoobloop


Jade walks in, holding her gun. It was the standard tommy gun everyone had.

She was there to guard the boss, it being an important job. This was were gems went from the newbies to the people in the inner circle. Her friend, Orpiment, had gotten her the position by calling in some favours. He was the one nice to her, helping her along the way.

She didn’t know why, but she was glad for the help. She walked besides the boss, standing, trying not to be seen, while also trying to look cool at the same time...

It wasn’t going that well and everyone should see. It was obvious what she was doing, but the boss didn’t notice. He was deep in thought, mostly from the high he was feeling, having smoked gem dust: The best selling drug in all of homeworld.

No one knows how it’s made, except the Boss himself and the guys making it.

But Jade wasn’t thinking about all this. She was just trying to get on the boss’ good side in a “subtle” way... In other words she was failing miserably.


The Boss looks at Jade and makes a hand-motion, indicating her to get closer. Jade gets closer and hopes for the love of everything he didn’t dislike her, because anyone disliked is shattered.

“The (removed) are you doing? Just sitting there?” he was still a bit dazed from his trip.

“Uhhh I’m your guard, Don, and I’m here to guard you.” Jade said a bit scared.

The boss starts laughing.

“C-C’mere. C’mon. Don’t be shy now.” he says. Jade gets closer

“Is something wrong Don?”

“Why the hell do you keep calling me Don? Call me ‘Sidian.”

“Yes Sidian.” She says “is that a weird rare gem?” She thinks not having heard of a game named “Sidian” before.  

“Sidian? Do you (removed) think this is all a joke?” he very quickly changed tone from harmless stoner to mad boss.

“Is that not your name?” Jade was confused “OBSIDIAN, you (removed)! O B S I D I A N.” he spells his name out letter by letter.

“I’M SORRY OBSIDIAN PLEASE FORGIVE ME I’M JUST A DUMB GUARD GEM!!!”

“To you I’m MISTER Obsidian. Now get your ass back to your post. You ruined my damn high.” he says.

“I’m sorry Mister Obsidian.” Jade says taking steps back “You’re still here? GET THE HELL OUT!”

“YES MISTER OBSIDIAN!” Jade walks out the door and stands outside, walking beside the door hyperventilating.

This was her life now. And she didn’t like that one bit.

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