Barn m8 i r8 8/8 dont discrimin8 only appreci8

"barn m8 i r8 8/8 dont discrimin8 only appreci8" is a lost episode of SU. It was planned to air after "Beta" instead of "Earthlings".

Official Synopsis
Peridot learns about memes. Meanwhile, Lapis learns how to axe.

Plot
Peridot is using her tablet and on a tubetube list of videos, she finds a video uploaded by her #1 subscriber "Hai I'm RUBY not EYEBALL Rose Quartz!". The video is called "''(TTP) MLG Steven Universe meets Dippepe and they ask Garfielf "WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOSE?!". Peridot, curious of what ANY of those words mean, clicks the video. She is shown ALL THE MEMES in that video, and learns them all...

Steven and Amethyst knock on the barn door, and Lapis opens it. Steven and Amethyst are there. Steven says " Lapis! Lapis! We got a big break in the case!" to which Amethyst says "Break in the case!". Steven says "We're heading into town right now to interrogate the murderer..." And Amethts holds an axe and says "we have an axe! Re! Re! Re!" And Lapis says "Hmm, seems like the kind of thing a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing...good thing I'm a Gem!" Then thingshappen and Lapis says "but wait how do you axe????" so she goes online via Peridot's "Wow, Thanks" meepmorp and then she buys an axe.

Peridot is painting the house with meme paint and lapis walks up to her and asks "what the heck are you doing you little cursed creepy piece of feces?". Peridot replies that she recently discovered "memes" and plans to extend them to their fullest extent, even saying she asked Blue Diamond to make memes in kindergartens, although being told that memes aren't gems by said Diamond afterwards. Lapis said "wtflip you cursed spawn of hades I hope you get worm infections that end up killing you". Lapis then walked away.

At night, a knock was heard on Lapis's door. It was Jamie the mailman, ready to delibird Lapis's axe. When he saw her, he started reciting romantic poetry, calling her "the water to my jellyfish, the bed to my pillow, the ice to my rubellite!" Lapis then grabbed the axe and pelted him with it multiple times. "Wow he's almost as perverted as peridot wow". She then closed the door on his rotting corpse.

Meanwhile, Peridot was smoke weed erryday and then Lapis came up and saw all the memes in their barn and said "WHAT THE ACTUAL FLIP IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU BUTT GOD IF I FUSED WITH YOU INSTEAD OF JASPER OUR FUSION WOULDVE BEEN DEAD BY SUICIDE". Lapis then saw sunglasses slowly coming out of the sky, breaking their roof (as well as the laws of physics) and landing on Peridot's head and Peridot said "Deal with it".

Moments later, Steven ran up to Lapis, saying "You called me for an emergency?!" Lapis, holding Peridot's gem (which was in pieces) said "Yes! Peridot's gem seems to have been cut, and by the looks of it, by an axe! Looks like I have the barn all to myself now..." Steven then picked up the shards and sighed sadly, bubbling them and sending them away. He then said "Wait, why is Jamie dead on your-" Lapis then turned him around and said "BYE STEVEN!" Then star iris end

End music plays and says "If I could, learn to axe, I would use axe on peridot, because she is so weird, and alspo she likes memes".

Characters

 * Steven Universe
 * Lapis Lazuli
 * Peridot
 * Memes
 * Eyeball (mentioned)
 * Rubellite (mentioned)
 * Jamie
 * Ice (mentioned)
 * Amethyst

Locations

 * The Barn

Items

 * axe


 * memes

Songs

 * Axe Like You

Trivia

 * This is not a real SU episode
 * I do not have anything against Lapidot, in fact I lowkey ship it. This was not a stab at Lapidot at all. I also don't hate Peridot (she's one of my favorite characters), and the anti-peridot stuff was a joke.
 * Yes, I am fully aware the episodes are of Steven's perspective, but idc.
 * Sardeeznuts did not make an appearance in this episode.

Cultural References

 * Eyeball's username is a reference to something she said after being called "Eyeball" multiple times: "THAT'S NOT MY NAME!"
 * Peridot's whole thing with Memes is a reference to memers.
 * TTPs (TubeTube Poops) are a reference to YTPs (YouTube Poops). Despite popular misconception, it has nothing to do with OTPs (OtterTube Poops).
 * The Steven/Amethyst/Lapis scene is a reference to GF, obv
 * "Axe Like You" is a reference to "Love Like You".