Thread:Democritos/@comment-27304481-20160308174733/@comment-28792791-20160309235205

This is the beginning portion of the chapter, or she first chapter alone?

Also, description was excellent, although you may or may not have dwelled on it. I get how things in the gem world are hard to visualize, however descriptions must be short and sweet. As for literature, pronouns such as "she" and "her" seemed a tad bit overused, rather than "Selenite". One footnote would be to use other pronouns, relating to her description, or to simply use "she" and "her" 3-4 times before using "Selenite" again. Other than that, there's not that much you need to work on. I hope this feedback helped.