User blog:Golden-Cascade/“Ronaldo eats paste” leaks

of course we all know of the leaked Steven Universe episode, “Ronaldo eats paste”, but it was so beautiful that nobody could describe it without choking to death. so here i am.

Plot
Billip Dewey was eating his normal pizza pie at Dominnow’s Pizza or whatever that fish pizza place is called when he sees a shadowy figure hidden beneath a cave. he runs, hoping its his waifu, Pearl, when he notices that he recognizes the figure.

Steven Universe.

“Steven Universe! It’s Me! Bill!,” he cries, running to him. foolish deciosion, and he is quickly struck.

he wakes up in the Crystal Temple, with his waifu asking if he’s alright. Nobody had survived a Steven Universe attack in months except him. He tries to flirt with her and she throws him into the lava in Garnet’s room. They cry. it cant be fixed.

Peridot tries to calm them down, reminding them that Centipeedle would want them to be brave. After a moment of silence (Centipeedle died two episodes prior in a Steven Universe attack) Amethyst stands up, going into her room.

She sits on the couch cushion infested with termites, and tears it open. revealj g her greatest secret: she had been hiding Steven Universe in her cushion all along. The other Crystal Gems break down the door, revealing they knew she hid Steven Univese despite knowing he had to be killed all along. She asks how and Pearl says “PLOT CONVIENIENCE!!!!!!!!!!” and then the Crystal Gems start fighting eachother and Steven Universe because some side with Amethyst that he shouldnt be killed while the others are sane. Meanwhile Amethyst is just in the background kissing Peridot.

eventually they notice Steven Universe accidentally speared himself on Pearl’s nose, and Pearl is hailed as a savior and waifu to all for all eternity. the end.

Trivia

 * i wrote this at 12:35 AM