Thread:Deyvan Salez/@comment-31628318-20170628103654/@comment-31628318-20170628113621

Deyvan Salez wrote: Foxy02016 wrote:

Deyvan Salez wrote: By unfairly judging your characters you mean critizing them? Well, I shoulda given you constructive criticizm. Welp, here it is.

Emerald: A corrupted gem that can somehow control itself and can teleport. Mary sue too. Make Emerald not teleport so fast, not fusion(At least not 4 man fusion), not vampire, not half human, and the corrupted part making Emerald lash

Green Diamond:Improve on personality, and make them have realistic personality instead of just "trusting for no reason" Mary Sue too.

Obsidian:Give her a better personality, better abilities to make her stand out and more backstory.

Moonstone/Sunstone:Improve on their personality, give them a backstory on why they transform, and they shouldn't be able to control time.

Amber:Make her have a more realistic personality, instead of just "Normally calm and angry", also she needs more backstory and what not. Mary Sue.

And lastly, I suggest you don't make MAJOR use of Canon characters within your characters. Have a nice day. Well in the premiere rp of Emerald he smashed a glass elevator because of the corrupted part he dose lash just not as much and he will be a fusion I have been thinking of this OC for a few years and finally found this place where I can use it plus If I edit Em's ability he won't get approve again Livi-Moonfosh said so

Ok I get what and why because why should he trust Emerald when Em is a crystal Gem

Only backstory for Obsidian because he is supposed to be not as strong

Well I changed it and there is the backstory on the page when they were fourming the sun and moon shone on the gem at the same time and they became Moonstone/Sunstone

Ok but is the whip when she is angry a good thing anyway thanks for the good judgeing this time Well, that was only one example. And if someone was insane or angry enough they would do that. Also why SHOULD Emerald be a STABLE fusion with 4 people, doing all these sorts of crazy things whilst corrupted. If Emerald was corrupted then she would not be able to think, and would harm others. Controlling Corruption is impossible, unless Steven makes you semi-corrupted for a bit. Also if you came up with a Mary Sue after years then I don't think your writing skills are good...

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I legit don't know what

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What? There SHOULD be a backstory for like EVERY character, unless they didn't do something important also how did they meet Eemerald?

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Okay, in terms of Steven Universe logic, that doesn't make sense. You know gems are formed from KINDERGARTENS? Also that is impossible to happen, and the Sun isn't magic. It's just THE sun(And moon). (OBLIGORATORY POKEMON ULTRA SUN AND MOON REFERNCE)

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Bro, that isn't good that's unrealistic. She can't do that ALL the time.

Here's sumure constructize critizim. Hope you'll improve on your writing and roleplaying skills. Well yeah Emerald is like semi-semi-corrupted because only one gem of his is corrupted and Steven did make him only Semi-Corrupted