User blog:Marshiitake/Killipede

A parody of those bad fanfics by Jack-Septic-Eye. What is wrong with him.

Plot
"Curse words and things so out-of-character for me to say it would seem as if the only context of this show the author had was from the -abridged- version!," Steven shouted, as he kicked the rock.

"Now, Steven, sto-," Pearl started, before Steven looked at her, crying.

"NOOOO! HOW DARE YOU!," Steven screeched, crying constantly. "YOU EEEEEEDIOT! DAT WAS DA LAST STRAW! I'M RUNNIN' AWAY, YA BOID!"

Steven ran away, and everyone glared at Pearl, who was confused.

-

Steven was bawling like the idiot baby he was, when something tapped his shoulder.

"WHO IS IT, AND EVEN MORE CURSE WORDS!?," Steven screamed, until he saw the creature's face.

It was Centipeetle, his one true love. She screeched.

"Oh, Centipeetle, how I missed you!!," he cursed, hugging his new girlfriend apparently. "More curse words, and let's go home to show you off to that salty woodpecker!!"

Centipeetle screeched in confusion.

-

"This is my new girlfriend, Centipeetle!," Steven said, introducing her to the trio who already knew her.

"O....kay?," Pearl asked, confused.

"SHUT UP!! I DON'T CARE IF YOU DISAPPROVE OF OUR LOVE, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU PEARL, I'M LEAVING, CUUUUUURSE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORDS!", Steven cried before warping off with his arthropodic waifu.

"Wow, Pearl, you salt lick," Garnet shook her head.

"WHAT DID I EVEN DO?!"

---

Steven walked with Centipeetle, who was just dragged by him because in this fanfic he's ripped for some reason, when a cluster gem accidently knocked into her.

"STUPID MONSTER, YOU WILL PAAAAAY!!!," Steven screamed, going super saiyan as he blasted the gem mutant to smitheroons.

--

"I'm back, and Pearl, I forgive you," said the minor who was dragging a gigantic centipede behind him.

"Now, Pearl, anything you have to say to Steven?," Amethyst asked, grilling the poor gem.

"NO! THIS PLACE IS CRAZY!," Pearl screamed, finally fed up. "I'M LEAVIN' TA BROOKLYN! SEE YA IN HELL, TWOIPS!"

And then, she woiped ta Brooklyn, da greatest place on Oith.

"C-C-C-C-C-CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURSE!"

--

Steven laid on a cloud in his room, with a rose in his mouth, facing a nervous Centipeetle.

"So, Centi, what do you want to do tonight?~," Steven asked sedu-

Centipeetle put his entire body in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed, the OOC hybrid finally dead.

She screeched in happiness.