User blog:Goldensunsheba/Knowing who she is

This is kinda a follow up fanfic to Silk's Thinking of Her

Know who she is:
Rubecca gazed out the window into the street below from her balcony in her apartment, it was a two bedroom apartment and she shared it with her roommate Suzy. She was thinking about what Christina tried to do yesterday, the thoughts plagued her, she was ready to kill herself thinking that she was the cause of Rubecca's misery. Oh how wrong she was... Her past bothered her so much more that the little red head. She never really talked about it much, only to her phycatrist and to Isabelle once. It was a touchy subject for her, but maybe it was time to let Chris know why she has these issues.

Rubecca flipped her liter on and off and ran her other had over the flame, it was somewhat soothing to feel it burn and blacken her dark skin.

"Rube?" a voice came from behind her. This startled her and she dropped her lighter and let out a gasp, but nothing caugh on fire. She sighed in relief.

"What is it," she growled and turned around to see Christina who was a bit taken a back.

"S-sorry I didn't mean to startle you," Chris hesitated and hung her head, "I'll leave if I'm bothering you..."

"Hey," Rubecca grabbed her shoulder, "Look at me." she lifted her head and looked at Rube, "I don't hate you."

"Oh..."

"There's something I wanted to talk to you about," Rube sighed and she headed to the living room sitting on the couch, she coaxed Chris to follow her. Chris sat down next to her, "It's been bugging me...you were about to try and kill yourself for me thinking it was your fault that I'm like this, it's not like that."

"I know...I just-" Rube pressed a finger against Chris' lips and she seemed taken aback her eyes widdened as she stared into Rube's hazel eyes.

"When I was a little girl I was obsessed with fire." Rube started, "My father took me camping alot before I was even five, he let me poke and play with the fire, probably not the best ideafor a little girl....but it was fun."

"Rube..." Chris looked back at Rube's lighter that lay back on the floor near the patio. Rubecca looked away from Chris.

"It happened on a Friday night, my dad use to smoke and leave his lighter around, I was playing with it, my mother had put my little baby sister in her crib and she went to take a nap. I ended up starting a fire. I paniced, I ran out of the house not thinking of Ruby and my mother..."

"Wait...did they get out," Chris seemed surprised and realized that Rube's eyes were filling with tears.

"No...the house burnt down...it was far too late before the firefighters got there, my dad came home distrate, I never told him...but I think he knew... He abused me for 7 years after that before kicking me out of the house," she gazed down at a few scare on her arm and shook her head biting her lip. Chris gazed down at arm sadly, it made sense.

"You were only 12?"

"Luckily my grandmother took me in for 6 years before she passed away, she took be to my phycatrist and put me on the meds," Rube wipped her tears away. Her heart was racing with anxiety, "It never your fault, you keep me going darling...you and all my friends."

"Rube..." Chris hugged her friend tightly, "I'll always be here for you."

"Thank you..."